Seven Blue Roses
by Jinxit13
Summary: After the loss of Quinn's only son, she takes Rachel to meet her spouse's family back in the UK where her son will be buried beside his father, an ex-soldier who died in action two years earlier. Rating may change. eventual Faberry!
1. Chapter 1

**So, this is my first official piece of fanfiction based around Rachel and Quinn. It is very, very loosely based on a real story. I really hope you enjoy it. It may not be a completely accurate reflection of Malaria but regardless, I hope you like it and I'm sorry for any mistakes in advance. **

**It is a fanfic about friendship so please don't mistake it for romance. A romance may develop later, depending on the success of this fanfic and whether or not I feel that it's a natural next step to take. **

**After reading this back, I've realised that it isn't very obvious where this chapter is actually set. Just in case anyone wants to know, I imagine it to in Maputo City hospital which I believe is in Mozambique, Africa (please feel free to correct me if I'm wrong). **

**Please review and let me know if I should continue! I would really appreciate it. If anything is unclear then please feel free to ask. **

**Thank you. **

**Sorry to anyone who thought this was an update, unfortunately it's not! I've had a complaint about my work not uploading so I'm trying again. **

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It was a dark and stormy night; the rain fell in torrents, except at occasional intervals, when it was checked by a violent gust of wind which swept up the streets, rattling along the rickety house-tops, and fiercely agitating the scanty flame of the lamps that struggled against the darkness.

A flicker of light occasionally lit the hospital room where my son laid cold, waiting for time to pass. The piercing, tender screams of the young challenged the slashing rain to a dual to see which was louder as symptoms of Malaria swept through the children's ward.

I sat sideways with my legs curled underneath me, bowing my head in prayer. I was one of the few mothers lucky enough to be offered a chair to sleep in whilst we all waited anxiously for morning to crack through the darkness. I leant over and gently ran my fingers through my sleeping son's hair, removing it quickly to wipe away a silent, stray tear with the sleeve of my oversized sweater. My eyes stayed alert, searching over Jake's features.

Jake was starting to look more like his father, Hudson, every day. He had massive brown eyes, glittering and smiling and lovely deep dimples that crinkled whenever he smiled. His hair was fair and lightly curled, just like Hudson's. His little body was stripped free of clothing, except for a pair of shorts, and he was wrapped in a faded old blanket. With every second that passed Jake's tiny hands shook and his breathing grew shallower.

Looking around the dim room, I saw mostly lethargic mothers, cradling children as young as three months old. Every now and again, my eyes would fall upon a desperate father, devoid of any hope. It was heart-breaking. It seemed as though it wasn't happening to me, but then Jake would make a sudden movement and I'd panic, anticipating another seizure.

I was aware that with each hour that passed, Jake was becoming weaker. I continued to glance back and forth in the general direction of the doors, waiting for someone to appear. I snuggled further into myself, tucking my knees up to my chest as I allowed my eyes to drift closed. It was the only way to shut out the devastation around me.

Another unmarked period of time dragged by, but by then I had slipped into a light sleep. I was unconscious to the world around me, but even my dreams were tainted and twisted into nightmares. I was hardly surprised, given my surroundings .

I was awoken by the alarming sound of Jake's IV pump which began rhythmically beeping, indicating that the bag of fluids was empty. After settling myself from the shock of the harsh noise cutting through the silence of the early morning hour, I quickly reached over and pressed the silence button the nurse had shown me and then the call button itself.

Luckily for me and Jake, our hotel had been within driving distance of the city when his first symptoms had occurred. We had made the journey in just fewer than two and half hours despite that fact that we had been residing in the outer region of Mozambique, along the shores. The sights we had seen on our way through did nothing except scar me with internal fear and despair.

I shifted closer to the intercom.

"Can I help you?" A worn, grainy voice asked.

"His IV is beeping." I tried to answer calmly, returning my hand to the golden curls of Jake's hair. Like me, it was the trick to getting him to sleep. All it took was a little reassurance that I was still there and he drifted off into a deep sleep. Hudson had done this to him when he was a baby whenever he refused to settle. Ever since, Jake has not slept through the night unless we tucked him into bed this way and gently stroked the bridge of his nose until he drifted to sleep.

"The nurse will be right in."

"Thank you."

I smiled lightly as my son rolled onto his side. He turned to face me in an attempt to get more comfortable, but he fell right back to sleep. I brushed a stray blonde curl of hair behind his ear and trailed the back of my fingers over his cheek before retracting it completely. _He was going to be okay,_ I told myself.

Behind me, a piercing scream filled the air and a young mother draped in colourful garments raced to her child's side. Even in the city hospital, there was no room for private rooms, and in some cases, there wasn't even enough room for single beds. A nurse burst through the doors, running to the little girl's bedside.

I had to turn my gaze away out of respect. A heavy, deathly feeling settled in the pit of my stomach. I traced my fingers over the back of Jake's hand, looking to be distracted. Little beads of sweat had gathered along his forehead, his breathing becoming more and more obvious. I could tell he was struggling. I tried to catch the nurses attention as she walked by, but I soon realised she was preoccupied with the resuscitation of a tiny little boy.

I looked back to Jake, memorising all his beautiful features. He had a strong jaw like his father, and little freckles sprinkled delicately across his nose. His long, naturally curled eyelashes fluttered closed against his flushed cheeks and his lips were turning a dark shade of primrose. His skinned burned beneath my touch.

"Quinn?"

I turned to look over my right shoulder to see Rachel Berry in the doorway behind me. There was no hesitation before I was up and crashing into the diva's arms. Nothing had a chance to register to me. Not what the brunette was wearing, the colour of her blouse, and the look on her face. _Nothing_. I just needed that physical reassurance.

Rachel stumbled backwards, unprepared for the impact. She wrapped her arms around me, pulling me closer. My eyes screwed shut as I fought to keep from crying and after a few seconds of stillness, Rachel shifted her head, turning to kiss my cheek lightly. I opened my mouth to speak but it came out a soft, chocking half-sob.

I pulled away, letting her hand find mine as our fingers entwined. She looked terrified. "Thank you for coming out here, Rach-"

She smiled softly. "It's no problem. I wanted to be here for you." Her eyes glazed back and forth between the endless rows of children. "Where is Jake?"

My eyes shifted back to the reason Rachel was here. He was stirring, probably searching for me. "Over here."

I led her towards Jake and melted into the seat I had been sat in moments before-hand. Once again, I began mimicking the motion in his hair with my free hand. The diva smiled weakly, reaching out to gently remove his blanket. "He's boiling."

I wanted nothing more than to scoop him up in my arms and hold him, to tell him that I was there and everything was going to be okay, but he finally looked peaceful. Rachel stared down at him, counting the number of drips trailed along his arm.

"So what happened, Quinn? And what happened to you?" She asked pulling back the sleeve of the my sweater.

"I'm just exhausted." I said. "Jake's really not well at all...and I don't even know what happened." I whined, holding my head in my hands. "The whole thing started when I heard Jake stirring in the middle of the night. I woke up and he was absolutely boiling, but then again, so was I so I didn't think anything of it. I carried him down to the shore to get some cool air, but after an hour he was still no better. If anything, he was worse…so that morning, I got on a boat across the river and asked one of the locals to drive us to the nearest hospital. Luckily the driver took one look at him and slammed his foot down on the accelerator." I began to break into tears again, my body shaking with the weight of tears.

Rachel stroked my hair, then cupped my face and pulled me to look at her. "Have they managed to diagnose him with anything?"

I looked around the room with absolute hopelessness, trying desperately to keep myself from crying now. The diva ran a soothing hand across my back, trying to calm me. If I knew one thing about Rachel, it was that she hated seeing anybody distressed. "Same as every other child in here. He has malaria."

Rachel gasped, covering her mouth with her hands. "Oh my god, Quinn! Come here…" She knelt down in front of me and took my hands in hers. "Baby, I'm so sorry. I had no idea it was so serious."

"It's okay." I whispered. "The fact that you're here means absolutely everything to me."

"I didn't like to think of you alone out here, Quinn." Rachel admitted, pulling me into another tight hug. "I wanted nothing more than to make sure you were okay…at least until Jake was out of the woods."

"Thank you." I smiled into her hair, wrapping my arms around her neck. "I'm really happy you're here. I've missed you."

I couldn't be sure that she had heard me since my words were muffled against her neck. She pulled away and smiled. "I've missed you too. How is everything in England-"

"Ah. Just in time I see." The nurse interrupted with a worn smile as she entered the room to hang another bag of fluids, meeting both of our eyes briefly. Her English was staggered and unclear, but I could understand what she was saying. "He is first up to be checked over by the doctor when he arrives. Do you mind if I just carry out an examination?"

"Please, go ahead." I said, wrapping his tiny fingers in my palms. There was no disputing the fact that his temperature was gradually rising dangerously high. I panicked as soon as my eyes met with the nurse's, her cautious eyes piercing straight through me. My veins burned beneath my skin and my pulse began to throb. Something was terribly wrong.

Rachel reached for me, rubbing small circles across the small of my back. Her touch instantly reminded me to stay calm – I couldn't panic. Jake would pick up on my fear and the horror would become his own. I couldn't allow that to happen.

"I'm going to get the doctor immediately." The nurse informed me. "Please try and keep him calm. His temperature is too high for my liking and he is suffering from stomach upset. He's also showing signs of anaemia. "

"Okay." I nodded, collecting my emotions in an effort to stay strong. Things were beginning to get far more serious than I had been expecting. Most of the children and mother's surrounding us had not even been vaccinated, yet Jake had been protected against this disease. I couldn't wrap my mind around the concept of losing him to something so vile and _unnecessary._ "Rachel, will you remind me to call Hudson's family please?"

"Of course." She nodded. I could tell she was already making a mental note of who needed to be called first. "Would you like me to call them now so that you can stay with Jake?"

"Could you stay here with me until the doctor gets here please? I think I might need you and he could be here within a few minutes."

"That soon?" she asked, sitting up and grabbing her phone.

I shrugged. "Possibly, or at least, I hope so. I don't think I have the patience to wait for too long."

"He'll be okay, Quinn. Trust me," I wasn't expecting the emotional break in her voice. I also hadn't been expecting this to hit her quite as deeply as it had so early on. Hopefully, things would begin to improve from here on out, but in the last five hours, I had witnessed five totally unjust heartbreaks unfold right before me and I had been utterly helpless.

"I hope you're right, Rachel. I really do."

I planted a kiss on Jake's forehead, brushing the curls away. "I love you." I whispered. "I love you, I love you, I love you."

I sunk backwards into the chair, dragging myself closer to his side. Next to Rachel, a young boy who was no more than five years old, was hardly breathing. His father sat beside him, crying as he held onto his son's hand. The scene was so wretched. The thought of having to say goodbye to my own son was enough to make me gag.

The rise and fall of his son's chest slowed, reduced to one desperate gasp before his body took on the stone cold stillness of death. His father screamed, the nurse came running, but the boy was gone. I screwed my eyes shut, unable to shut out the desperate shrieks in the background. I reached for Rachel's hand, entwining our fingers together without connecting our gazes. I couldn't look at anything else except my baby as the screaming continued to relentlessly echo of the walls.

For the first time, Rachel witnessed what it was worth to feel utter hopelessness.

"Are you okay?" I asked, after several more minutes of this. I could feel the tension writhing beneath Rachel's collected exterior. Her grasp on my hand was firm and essential to us both in that moment. We had braced ourselves, yet the worse was still to come.

"Yes." She nodded. "Are you?"

I shook my head. "No." I admitted. "I'm not coping with this at all."

"You're doing fine, Quinn."

Jake stirred, kicking his feet free of the blanket. "Mommy?"

In one fluid movement I slid from the chair to the side of Jake's bed. An overwhelming urge to cry threatened to break through my calm exterior. "Hey, Baby. How are you feeling?"

I gave him a soft smile as he rolled on to his back and rubbed the sleep from his eyes, never really giving me an answer. "Where's Daddy?"

"Daddy is watching over you right now." I said softly before turning to the door. "Daddy misses you very much, baby, I promise."

Again, my eyes were clouded by tears as I thought of what Hudson would say right now. If he was here, would he make everything okay? Or would he follow every line of my tear-stained face on a night that is as cold as the day he was taken away?

I tucked my hand under my chin and wrapped my arm around my torso, attempting to hold myself together. Rachel remained standing, watching Jake with a complex expression on her face. It was a mixture of two very conflicting emotions by the looks of things, as if halfway between fear and hope.

Outside the room, I could see the tall, dark hair of a man in his forties though the glass in the door. He was wearing a white medicine jacket and carrying notes. He looked through the doors and his eyes immediately settled on Jake. I didn't know whether that was a good sign or bad.

I looked back down and realised that my son had started to lose consciousness again. "Rachel, can you try and attract the attention of that doctor please?" I asked. My eyes must have hardened because the doctor peered over at us once more and then rushed through the doors to Jake's side, studying him closely.

He stopped right in front of us, demanding the attention of every mother and father. His face was worn and devoid of emotion as he stepped closer to Jake's bed.

He turned to me. "Hi, I'll be looking after your son today. My understanding is that you're son has been suffering from Malaria, is that right?"

I nodded.

"How long have his symptoms been apparent?"

"Two days." I answered.

"Any signs of seizures?"

I nodded. "Yes, he had one on the way here in the car. That was about six hours ago now."

He scanned over my son. The glossy black of his eyes were unreadable. I couldn't tell what he was thinking. He seemed immune to his surroundings as he listened carefully to Jake's breathing. "I believe he has fluid in his lungs, Mrs Fabray. I'm afraid this is very serious. He has severe malaria and we have to be careful that it does not lead to Cerebral Malaria."

I nodded, focusing on taking one shaky breath at a time. I couldn't process what he was saying, and even if I could, I wouldn't have understood. I just knew that what he had said was not good news. "Will he be okay?"

He shook his head, rubbing his forehead in thought. "I cannot promise you anything. He is very ill."

I brushed my hair away from my face, tilting my head upwards to prevent the tears from falling. Just then, whilst the doctor was re-examining Jake's breathing, another wave of shock hit. Jake's tiny body began to convulse in his bed, his limbs flailing everywhere. There was nothing I could do as the nurses pushed me backwards, away from his bedside.

Rachel had to hold me back, crushing me in an embrace as I fought to see if he was okay. The nurse's crowded around his bed, shouting instructions to one another that I did not understand. The doctor remained calm as he continued to jerk and shudder.

"Jake!" I yelled, yanking myself free from Rachel's grip. I raced towards him with Rachel by my side as the final wave hit. "Jake, darling, mummy's here." I whispered. "Come on, Jake! Please don't let this happen, please don't. Please!"

Another shockingly forceful convulsion hit and his eyes rolled backwards. I screamed, aware that I was useless. His tiny, weak body appeared to be giving in as wave after wave hit him. Then, just as suddenly as it had started, it stopped.

"Do something!" I cried, reaching for his hands. I smoothed his hair down and lowered my lips to his forehead, tasting my salty tears with trembling lips as I kissed his forehead. "Please help him!" I begged. "Please…"

The nurse's fell silent, stepping away. The doctor swallowed hard, assessing the situation. "We need to take him into a private room…" He paused, looking at me with intense sadness. "Please wait in the corridor."


	2. Chapter 2

**Okay, so firstly I'd like to say thank-you soooo much for the reviews! I love them! **

**Secondly, I'd like to say that if anyone would like to see a cast list for the Smith family then please let me know. I have a very vivid image of these characters and already love writing them. **

**This is set in the UK and takes place in the New Forest for anyone that isn't quite sure what or where it is. This chapter is more of a filler than anything else, but the next chapter will be much more emotional and will really allow Quinn to confront the loss that she has suffered. There'll be more Rachel/Quinn content and hopefully, if all goes the way I've planned, there will be the introduction of more glee characters too. **

**I imagine Quinn and Rachel to be roughly 27/28 years old by the way, just for reference. **

**I think of Marc as 54 years old and Eva to be 48. Then I would say the twins are probably in the their early twenties perhaps 21/22 years old whereas I imagine Kellan to be nineteen, just in case anyone was wondering!**

**Thank-you so much for reading, please let me know if I should continue in the way I am. **

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**Two weeks later:**

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We weaved our way along the country lanes, heading northbound. The houses that flashed past us grew farther and farther apart as the forest encroached on either side. I closed my eyes and inhaled the fresh scent of damp leaves that lingered just after the heavy rainfall.

Rachel was sat beside me in a beautiful floral dress which was black for the occasion. She quietly sipped on a Starbucks cappuccino that I had picked up for her on the way to the airport, consuming her surroundings in awe.

"You're not really some psychopathic killer that's leading me into the forest so you can have your way with me, are you?" Rachel asked suddenly.

I smirked, suddenly glancing over my shoulder to meet her confused brown eyes. "How'd you know?"

"Shut up." She ordered playfully as she returned her eyes back to the road. I smiled instantly for the first time in the last two weeks in spite of my reservations. A tiny part of my sub-conscious tried to hold me back, but for once, I defied the guilt and smiled anyway, hoping that it would make both Hudson and Jake proud.

Before long we were past the houses altogether, driving through the misty English New forest. Wild horses are innate here, and are often a common occurrence that I had forgotten to tell Rachel about. As we weaved in and out of the forest lanes, horses stood grazing on small patches of greenery lining the forest outskirts. Their existence added to the mystical tranquillity of the place, which Rachel could not quite seem to fathom.

Her eyes were wide and disbelieving as we skirted around another herd of mystical black and white horses that wandered out into the road. In the distance, the greenish glow of the woods lit up to expose a series of meadows, also littered with more herds of wild horses here and there.

"Am I seeing things or did we almost just kill a herd of horses?"

I rolled my eyes, wearing a massive smile. "Quit being so dramatically. I am perfectly in control of this car and we did _not_ nearly kill them."

"Fine." She smirked. "If you say so, then you win. I just hope we get there before dark, because then they could be in for some real danger."

I tried not to laugh, instead trying to replicate Rachel's pout, but it didn't work. I ended up laughing, nodding along in acceptance. Admittedly, my driving wasn't the best.

I could tell that she was trying to decide whether to ask or be patient when I abruptly turned onto a large, empty road. I accelerated hard, quickly reaching eighty-miles an hour in Hudson's white Toyota ft sport's car – his family owned an extensive collection of sports cars.

Again the greenish glow of the ever-green forest seemed to swallow us whole, letting us leave behind the rest of the world in its isolation. Upon the top of a vast hill that stretched on through the forest for what always seemed like forever, the driveway of the Smith's residence became clear.

At first it appeared to be unmarked, barely visible among the ferns and the tree's that seemed to lean inwards, leaving the road ahead only discernible for a few meters as it twisted, serpent like, around the ancient trees.

There was some thinning of the woods as we drew closer. Rachel smiled. "I sense that we're finally nearing our destination…"

I grinned, turning up the slope and into their driveway. Rachel's jaw dropped as she glanced upon the house fully for the first time.

"It's beautiful isn't it?"

Shadows cast from the trees darkened the air around us. "So beautiful… It's almost _unreal_. You're so lucky!"

"Unfortunately it's not mine." I reminded her regretfully. "I wish it was though."

She nodded in agreement, resting her hand on mine as I applied the handbrake. Then suddenly her face grew serious, her eyebrows scrunching together. "Are you okay, Quinn? With today I mean…"

I nodded, absolutely certain. "I have my family." I smiled, looking over to the Smith's house which stood proudly within the midst of the forest. "They've been so good to me; it's hard to believe that I ever lived without them."

This seemed to put her at ease a little. She ducked her head to get a better view of the house. "Do you think they'd adopt me if I asked politely?"

I laughed._ Probably. _"You'd never be brave enough to leave your dads or your job for that matter."

She pouted, contemplating it. "No, you're probably right. I do love New York, but this place is so special. Maybe I could be persuaded…"

I tweaked my eyebrows, grateful for her company after two weeks of solemnness. I needed that relief – to smile without feeling guilty, but up until now, that hadn't come very naturally to me. "You'd be more than welcome. You could sleep with the dog."

"Oh!" Rachel slapped my arm playfully, wearing her pout proudly. "You wouldn't dare."

"Nah, you're right. I'm not brave enough to deal with an angry Rachel Berry."

Rachel nodded, smiling smugly. "Good. I'm glad we've got that all cleared up."

I laughed, removing my sunglasses.

Even as the sun started to break through the branches the gloom of the forest didn't relent. The trees held their protecting shadow right up to the walls of the house that rose among them, making the deep porch that wrapped around the first story obsolete.

"I don't know what I had expected, but it definitely wasn't this." Rachel admitted, stepping out from the car.

The house was timeless, graceful, and had been built by them eight years previously. It was contemporary and almost entirely glass, like a modern tree house. A soft yellow glow came from the second floor where a large room was angled to jut out over the driveway. The glass windows surrounding this room stretched from the floor to the ceiling, exposing a view that hung over the forest.

Even the drive was perfectly paved with old slabs of polished grey stone and the flowers that surrounded this driveway were bright and welcoming, littering the grass with vast arrays of pinks and blues.

Fairy lights graced the front of the house, twinkling blue in preparation for Jake's funeral that afternoon.

Each member of the family was home, waiting impatiently for our arrival. They were desperate to make Rachel feel welcome as she was the only person from my past that I had ever brought to visit them. To them this meant that she was wholly significant in terms of my upbringing - or at least my life before I met their son, Hudson.

"So, do you like it?" I asked, locking the car and waiting for that satisfying beep that indicated the job was done.

"It… It has a certain charm."

I pulled the end of her ponytail and chuckled. Her eyes were glittering brown, warm and laughing as she followed me up to the house.

"You look lovely by the way." I said, taking her hand in mine. "There's no reason to be nervous, I promise."

"Pinkie swear?"

I sighed deeply, an amused smirk hesitating to cross my lips. "I promise."

Rachel laughed loudly, bumping our shoulders together. "I didn't think you'd actually do it."

I glared at her. "Damn it."

We walked through the deep shade up to the porch. Suddenly, I could feel the tension radiating from Rachel; my thumb rubbed soothing circles into the back of her hand.

I knocked on the door then stepped back beside Rachel. Almost immediately, the door opened to reveal Eva, Hudson's mom, standing there dressed in a beautiful black dress, long and detailed.

"Hello, darling! That didn't take you long…"

I smiled, stepping into the house with Rachel at my side. Eva's face was soft and welcoming – very motherly. "Eva, this is Rachel - Rachel Berry."

"Hello, it's lovely to meet you." Eva smiled, holding out her hand. Rachel took it eagerly, hungry to make a good first impression.

Eva already seemed to like the brunette, but then again, she was fond of everyone. Immediately, her soft features melted into a hearty smile and she led Rachel into the hall. "Here, let me take your coat for you-"

"It's okay, I've got it." I said, taking Rachel's coat and placing it on a hook in front of the door.

Rachel peered into the various rooms as she followed Eva's short, quick strides. "It's lovely to you meet you. Thank you for inviting me into your home. It really is beautiful."

"It's a little erm…how should I put it…" Eva thought for a second. "It's a little elaborate." She laughed.

"I think it's great." Rachel grinned. Thankfully, they seemed to be getting on great which was a huge weight of my shoulders since Rachel was meant to be staying for a further two weeks.

Eva stopped abruptly to find four smiling faces standing on a raised platform which led to the living area, all immaculately dressed, ready for the service later on.

I turned to Hudson's father Marc first, then to Carmen and Eddie – the twins- and then to the youngest son, Kellan. They all shared the same tanned, beautiful features with dark hair and big bold eyes. Marc was the only one who appeared any different as his hair had begun to show specks of grey. Perhaps it was the emotional toll of Jake's death, but I'd only just noticed that he looked much more distinguished.

We all looked worn, heartbroken and desperate, clinging to any splatter of hope. There wasn't any, at least, not until Rachel had showed up. At first, the smile's appeared to be forced. Not because they didn't welcome Rachel, because they did, but it was because none of us had smiled in such a long time, it felt unnatural.

I looked to Carmen first - the more rational twin. She was smiling softly, her beautiful, wide smile the most natural of them all. The usual cheeky, troublesome gleam in her eyes was distant and faded, but her smile provided me with hope that the sassy grin would one day return.

Carmen was exceptionally beautiful – she took after Eva in this way, for she was tall and perfectly toned with beautifully expressive eyes that were the colour of liquid gold. Flecks of bronze flashed in her eyes as she studied Rachel from a distance, smiling.

She stepped down from the step, extending her hand towards Rachel kindly. "Hi, I'm Carmen. These are my brothers – Eddie and Kellan – and that's my father, Marc."

"Hello, it's lovely to meet all of you." Rachel nodded, making sure she looked at each person equally, examining them.

Marc stepped forward. "Please, make yourself at home." He said with his usual sincere tone. "I'll get one of the lads to take your stuff up to your room."

"Thank-you." Rachel smiled. "But I can do that, it's not a problem."

"No, don't you worry. We look after the woman in this household." He flashed a warm smile at her and then placed his hand on my shoulder.

"You let us know if there's anything you need. Me and the boys are around to pick any of your friends up from the airport this morning and Carmen is around to help get everything set up." He looked down at me, his tone measured. "Please, don't push yourself too much today Quinn. Let us take care of you, alright?"

I swallowed hard. I'd been trying to push the thought of this afternoon out of my head. Denial had been my best friend up until today, but it seemed as though I wouldn't be able to get away with denying anything ever happened for much longer. "Thank-you."

"It's my job as your father." He replied. I knew that today was killing him inside, tearing him apart one layer at a time, but he would never let it show. Instead, he remained composed, allowing his posture to do most of the talking.

He did this a lot. This was how Marc showed his patients at the hospital that they were in safe hands. He didn't need words to put people at ease – his grounded, level-headed presence was enough.

Eva piped up, breaking the brief silence that settled around us. "Let me fix you something to drink, how about a nice hot chocolate or a glass of wine?"

"Wine would be lovely, thank you." I nodded. "Would you like anything to drink, Rach?"

"Yes please, make that two glasses of wine."

"Coming right up." Grinned Eddie, who immediately dismissed himself after sending Rachel a cheeky wink. _So typical._

We all laughed softly; sharing a fond, tender moment in the midst of a very solemn day. The laughter felt unfamiliar as it bounced from the walls, embracing us gently as if to remind us that it was _okay_ to smile – it was even okay to laugh - we just couldn't let ourselves forget.

I noticed Rachel glancing around, intrigued by the massive living room on the right and the open planned kitchen in the room next to it.

The inside of the Smith's home was even more surprising, less predictable, than the exterior. It was very bright, very open, and very angular. The ground floor must have originally been several rooms, but the walls had been removed from most of the first floor to create one wide space. The back, south-facing wall had been entirely replaced with glass, and, beyond the shade of the cedars, the lawn stretched bare to the wide river. A massive curving staircase dominated the west side of the room. The walls, the high-beamed ceiling and the thick carpets were all varying shades of cream that matched the wooden skirting boards perfectly. Mauve coloured ornaments and various different vase's filled with flowers the colour of bluebells decorated the house. Outside the window, the forest floor was completely coated in the beautiful little flowers giving it an almost purple glow whenever you looked down.

"I'll show you around if you like?"

"I'd love to see the rest of it." She admitted, smiling sheepishly.

"Go on, Quinn. Take her to see the rest of the house." Said Kellan, breaking his silence. He was always the quietest, preferring to observe rather than act. Carmen and Eddie were more like Marc in the way that they were the exact opposite. "I'm going down to the garage in the minuet to fix up Hudson's motorbike; you can come down with me if you like and see how it's going?"

"Okay, great." I nodded.

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Moments later and we were in the garage underneath the first story of the house. This was Kellan's own personal heaven where he'd spent a large portion of his childhood learning engineering from Hudson.

The garage appeared to be like an old personal memory-box, filled with parts of his past. I struggled to find my footing amongst the clothes that lined the floor whilst wearing five inch heels. Rachel appeared to be handling it just fine, absorbing every inch of the house and the people it belonged too.

In the centre of the garage, Hudson's first ever motorbike stood surrounded by tools. It was clear that Kellan had spent his entire weekend polishing it, but I'd been too self-absorbed to notice. It was only really Carmen that had spoken to Kellan over the last two weeks because he'd distanced himself and she was the only one who was able to reach out to him.

To Kellan, Hudson was his role-model – his absolute hero. They had an eye for adventure and the three brothers' would constantly compete against me and Carmen. When Hudson died, Kellan not only lost his brother, he lost his sense of self. He never really felt like he belonged anymore, but Jake had changed that. As time passed, each and every day Jake became even more like Hudson, effectively giving Kellan a tiny part of his older brother back.

He was heartbroken. We all were. But what hurt me even more than my own pain was seeing my family so broke. We were all struggling to express ourselves so Rachel was serving to be a welcome distraction.

"That looks good." I said, pointing over to the bike.

"Jake helped." He replied, his tone empty. "He wanted to show you it when it was all done."

The overwhelming urge to cry suddenly surfaced and I was only mildly successful at choking my tears back. Rachel slipped her arm around my waist, clutching me softly.

"Who's it?" she asked.

Suddenly, Kellan piped up. "It was my brothers." He said, almost excitedly. "He lived for this bike - spent most of his life on it. That's why he gave Quinn the car – so that she would let him keep the bike."

Rachel laughed. "You never did like it when people rode motorbikes."

"I guess I was afraid of the danger back then." I shrugged. "I'm not now though."

"Good."

"Come on." Kellan patted the seat, beckoning Rachel forward. She loosened her grip on me and placed her hand in Kellan's grasp. His flexed muscles easily manoeuvred the bike around and he steadily helped Rachel climb on board. "Feel's good don't it?" he grinned.

She nodded enthusiastically, reaching for the handles. I'd never seen anyone on it except Hudson and Jake who occasionally got lifted onto it when it needed repairs and he wanted to help his daddy.

"It suits you." I commented, admiring her posture as she leant forward on the bike slightly. Her long hair done in loose curls framed her face as she smiled back at me.

"Yeah! It does." Agreed Kellan. "You should come out riding with me this week; maybe explore the New Forest a little more."

"I'm too afraid." Rachel admitted, squirming. It was clear she loved it, just the feel of being so free even though she hadn't experienced the real thing yet, but something was holding her back.

"What you scared off?" I asked.

"Hitting one of those horses."

"Fair enough." I laughed, moving to stand beside her. "I can't really help there."

"I'll help you…" Kellan said, pausing in thought. "I'll help you in exchange for you keeping Quinn smiling for the next two weeks. How about it?"

Rachel laughed, and then tilted her head back in thought. "Alright. Deal." She said after a lengthy deliberation. They shook hands in confirmation and smirked.

For a little while, Kellan talked Rachel through the motions of riding a motorbike but didn't allow her to even look at the keys. I sat in the corner observing. At times, my face contorted with a mixture of amusement and worry as Rachel tried to get the hang of being on a bike.

After a while, Rachel excused herself to go to the bathroom so that she could freshen up. When she did so, Kellan approached me, taking a seat beside me.

"How are you?" He asked.

"Let's talk about something easier?" I offered. "Words are hard to find at the moment and if I'm going to answer that, I need to find the right words first."

He nodded, understanding exactly what I meant. Instead, he took my hand and gently unfolded it until I was holding my hand out flat. Then, without a word, he placed a small brown envelope covered in crayon drawings in the palm of my hand before folding my hand around the envelope.

It was Jake's.

"Take it." He said. "It was always intended for you – not me. I'd read it when you're alone though, if I was you."


	3. Chapter 3

**So, this isn't very heavy on shared content between Rachel and Quinn until the end which I apologise for! The reason for this is simply because I wanted Quinn to be focused on the funeral instead. It is a little rushed which I'm very sorry about. **

**As for the cast list I will publish it here because I know that not everyone has a tumblr account. If you'd like to see what these people look like because some aren't as well-known as other's then please feel free to look them up and let me know whether or not you think they compare in any way to how you picture each character…I'd love to hear what you think!**

**Eva Smith –Elizabeth Reaser **

**Marc Smith – Maybe a little like George Clooney? Haha.**

**Kellan Smith – Joe Collier **

**Eddie Smith – Marlon Teixeira **

**Carmen Smith – Gemma Artenton **

**Hudson Smith – Devin Paisley **

**Jake Fabray – Junior Andre **

**Just to be clear, I only intend to use original cast members from season one to season three. What happened in the following season is not really relevant to this story at the minuet and it will probably stay that way so for now, so please assume that any history mentioned between the characters is from seasons 1-3. **

**I know Jake's letter does not sound like that of a 4/5 year old child's, but I have tried my best and may edit it at a later date. There is a lot of credit owed to artists who have influenced my work in terms of music, so thank you to them. **

**I hope you enjoy this chapter! Please review so that I can pinpoint anything that needs improving. It means so much to me so thank you for all the support so far! **

**/#/#/#/#**

I didn't dare move as Eva's hands started combing through my hair, hefting it, twisting it, and illustrating to Carmen in detail what she wanted my hair to look like. When she was done, Carmen's hands replaced hers, shaping my hair with a feather-light touch.

Once my hair was styled and it had earned Eva's approval, the elder woman disappeared to retrieve my dress and then to relocate Marc, who had been dispatched to pick Kurt and Blaine up from the airport. Downstairs I could faintly hear the door opening and closing over and over again as voices began to float up to us.

Carmen kept me preoccupied, playing with my hair long after she was finished styling it. Neither of us really wanted to go downstairs. We both knew that when we finally did walk into the reality of our future, we'd never be able to revert back into this almost peaceful state of ignorance.

I peered out of the window to my left. For a brief second, I was distracted by the profusion of white blossoms that hung in garlands from everything in the garden that wasn't alive, dripping with long lines of white gossamer ribbons. I tore my eyes from the bowery canopy and searched across the rows of satin-draped logs, which had been carved into benches.

In the distance, Rachel shivered in the wind like the last leaf on a dying tree. She paced back and forth amidst the tiny bluebells, relishing a few quiet moments alone.

Carmen squeezed into the chair with me, our bodies overlapping. I wrapped my arms around her waist and pulled her into me, resting my chin on her shoulder. Even though I couldn't see her face, I knew that she was smiling.

"Carmen?"

"Hmm?"

"Do you ever feel like you just can't _feel_ anything anymore? Like you're empty and there's nothing in the world that can make you feel alive again?"

She turned to look over her shoulder, biting her plump bottom lip. "It's a desperate, almost pathetic feeling isn't it?"

"Yes." I agreed. I couldn't have worded that better myself. At least she was blunt and to the point.

"Is that how you're feeling?" She asked as she snuggled back into my embrace. It felt good to finally have someone to hold after such a long time with unnaturally empty arms. I buried my head into the crook of her neck, soothed by the familiar scent of her DKNY perfume.

"Yes." I admitted, sighing deeply. "Every time I'm alone I have this desperate need, which I think most people would, to communicate... to feel that whatever it is inside me, cutting or going crazy can be heard... There's something inside of me and I want to reach out. I wanna talk to someone and I wanna throw all my emotions and my thoughts out there and hope that I can make some sense of it or even find an answer... I just want to emote and hope there'll be a response."

"I don't think that's all that unusual." Carmen whispered softly beneath her breath, resting her hand on my knee.

"Maybe not." I mumbled into her hair, kissing her temple gently. _Maybe not._ "Will you do me a favour this afternoon, please?"

"Yes, off course. Anything you need just let me know."

I swallowed hard, fidgeting in the chair. Carmen shifted her weight to the right, enabling us to speak easier. "Today…if I begin to choke up, would you mind standing beside me? I might need you to read with me and I don't want to ask anyone else."

"Yes sure. We can read your speech together if you're really struggling. Everyone will understand, Quinn. What you're doing today is extremely difficult." She pecked my cheek and then pushed herself up out of the chair, offering me her hand. I took it, marvelling at the way every inch of her body glimmered in the light as she pulled me to my feet.

Deep down, a tiny spark of hope ignited inside me, providing me with the determination I needed to follow her towards the door. The sun spread across the surface of her skin like a warm, sensual light, leading me towards my son once again.

Carmen stopped abruptly, her hand lingering on the handle of the door. The golden flecks in her eyes glittered as the sun lingered on her - the colour was striking against the background of her ashen skin.

"Here, take my hand."

I complied, resisting the urge to ask why. Perhaps – just like me – she just needed someone in her desperately cold state of solemnity.

The confusion in my eyes must have been evident because her lips broke out into a grin and she pulled me against her slender body. "I don't trust you to walk down those stairs…"

"Why not?" I asked, knitting my brows together.

"Because you're like Bambi in five inch heels."

**/#/#/#/#**

I didn't lift my eyes until my feet were safely on the flat ground. I could hear the murmurs and rustling of the audience as I came into view. Blood squeezed through my veins rather than flowed – I could feel a disconcerting flush of warmth washing over me.

"Don't let me fall," I whispered. Carmen pulled my hand through her arm and then grasped it tightly.

As soon as my feet were past the treacherous stairs, I was looking for him.

For the tiniest fraction of a second, I was distracted by the wonderfully hand-picked décor that lined the interior of the house. Eva had purposely chosen baby-blue after Jake's death because my preparations for his funeral had quickly taken a rapid turn for the worse – I was unable to comprehend exactly what I was doing or why I was doing it so she had volunteered to help out.

Most of the planning had been carried out by me in my semi-conscious state of mourning, but I was grateful to see that Eva had respected my specific instructions, smoothing the edges as she went.

It was exactly how I'd imagined it would be, but it was even more _perfect._

Unfortunately, my attention was quickly diverted from the beautiful blue décor towards the crowd of faces all focused on me. I blushed an even deeper shade of primrose as we descended the stairs into the living area.

Through the open glass doors and into the garden, everyone had turned around in their seats to watch me as I walked towards them, gripping Carmen's arm.

Finally, I found _him_ at last, delicately placed before an arch overflowing with more flowers, with his favourite teddy placed fondly on top of the coffin.

Carmen led me through the glass doors and out into the garden where the crowd were waiting with tears streaming down their solemn, pitiful faces. I winced, afraid of the pity that they felt. Perhaps they knew something I didn't or perhaps they simply knew that when life offers you a dream so far beyond any of your expectations, it's not reasonable to grieve when it comes to an end; and that that was what Jake was to me – he was a second chance at a dream beyond my highest expectations.

Life without Jake paled in comparison to when he walked this earth with me.

It never entered my conscious mind until I was standing next to Jake that the entire Smith family were stood beside him also; I stared because all of their faces, so different, so similar, were all devastatingly beautiful even when they were all united in grief.

As Carmen let our entwined hands slide free, I pressed my palms against Jake's coffin. I wanted to feel him so bad – to hold his beautiful little body against mine and cradle him to sleep once more. I wanted to hold his hands and hear his laugher ringing loud and clear. _I just wanted him back._

Beside the coffin Marc had placed seven crystalized blue roses on a small rectangular table, each of them with our names written along the stem. There was a rose for each of us, including Hudson, and a personal message from each member of this family was written amongst the petals. When I looked closely, I realised that someone had arranged the roses into a heart shape.

Silently, the minister from our local Christian church stepped forward, motioning me forward too. "If you'd like to place the roses on his coffin, we can then begin."

I nodded, reaching behind me and searching for a hand to hold onto. Each member of my surrogate family stepped forward with Carmen stood on one side of me and Kellan stood on the other.

All I really saw in that moment as I looked out towards those sat in the aisle was Rachel's face; it filled my vision and overwhelmed my mind.

Her eyes were a deep glistening shade of chocolate brown and her perfect face was almost severe with the depth of her emotion. As she met my devastated gaze, her tears over-spilled and coated her cheeks with pearled-shaped tears.

Next to Rachel, Santana was sat with Brittney. Both of their faces were tear-stained and remorseful – their cheeks flushed red already.

In the second row, Kurt and Blaine sat together clutching at tissues. Blaine appeared relatively composed next to Kurt, who hardly managed to contain his angst. Suddenly, it was only the pressure of Eva's hand on mine that kept me from sprinting headlong back down the make-shift aisle.

I didn't realize I was crying until it was time for me to pick up the rose. I was the first to step forward, twisting the rose around and around in my fingers. "J-Jake…" I stuttered, holding the rose against my chest. "Mummy loves you soo much, baby. But you're not alone, you know that. I know you're up there with Daddy, watching over us all down here… You will never be without me, please remember that. I'm always here, counting the days until I can hold you again. We all miss are my little angel even on the darkest of nights, and I will always look up at you and relish the hope you bring. _I love you, darling."_

The priest stood behind Jake's tiny coffin, bowing his head out of respect. When I stepped back into the line that the Smith family had formed, Eva stepped forward. This continued until each of us had said our goodbyes which were all vastly different but very similar at the same time since they all seemed to revolve around the topic of love. My rose was the middle rose amidst the line of seven blue roses.

Finally Marc stepped forward and placed a letter – written from all of us – on top of the coffin, tucked inside a baby blue envelope which was decorated with little sail boats.

The Smith's inter-locked hands connected us all together in a symbolic chain that could not be broken as the priest turned to me and asked if I had anything else to say.

"I do." I managed to choke out in a nearly unintelligible whisper, blinking my eyes clear so I could see Rachel's face in the distance.

I stepped forward, grasping Jake's letter to his father in one hand and my speech in the other. My eyes flickered between the two and I was still undecided as I took to the hand-made podium.

I shifted uncomfortably, smoothing out the creases in my speech. I swallowed hard, struggling to begin as I stared hard at the paper, forcing the words to roll from my tongue into the heavy, silent air.

"The last two weeks I have learnt that it is possible to take bravery to the point where it becomes insanity…" I looked to Rachel, holding her gaze. "But I'm not brave enough to stand here and lie to you out of desperation. Any speech that_ I_ could come up with does not truly express my emotions precisely. What I am feeling is something that words miss…"

Rachel stared at me intensely, her eyes glossed over with tears. The slightest glimpse of a smile parted her lips and gave me the strength to continue. I closed my eyes and steeled myself, continuing with a glitch in my voice. Carmen stepped forward, sliding her fingers down my wrist and back up again.

"_Try_…" she whispered.

I unfolded his letter and stared at his messy, endearing writing illustrated with little drawings. Unconsciously I began to smile, hearing a little voice of realism beginning to spring to life, the words sliding from between my lips.

"_Dear Daddy," _I began to read, blinking my eyes in an effort to clear them of my tears. _"It was February the 14__th,__ Valentine's Day, when Mummy's roses came but the angel's took you away. Today, it's July the 21__st__, Mummy's birthday. I wanted to bring you home for her, but Kellan told me that you've never really left. _

_That's good, because if you can see the teams that I'm on now, you'd be really proud. I get to play football with the big boys on Saturdays now. I see you standing there next to Mum and you're both cheering along, arm in arm. I still look for your face in the crowd… but if you could see me now would you recognise me? I know it's been awhile but I can still see you clear as day._

_I hope you're up there with God saying that's my kid, because I still show your picture at school and I say that's my Daddy!_

_There are days when I don't believe in heaven anymore Daddy, because you wasn't just good, you were great so why would God take you away from me? I don't understand, but hopefully you can tell me when I come and visit you one day. _

_So, if you get a second to look down at me now, _

_Then Daddy, I'm just missing you now._

Eddie's hands reached up to cradle my face, carefully, as if I were as delicate as the white petals swaying above our heads. I tried to comprehend, through the film of tears blinding me, the surreal fact that my amazing son was gone. He pulled my head into his chest, letting me wrap my arms around his strong, warm body without pulling away – even when I grabbed the back of his suit jacket and hung my entire dead-weight against him, crying into his shirt, he still didn't move.

Marc's arms pried me away from Eddie and enveloped me in a giant bear hug. Over his shoulder, I could see Rachel wiping her eyes with tissues borrowed from Kurt. Eva's arms were the next to find me, her tear-streaked face the first thing I saw when I finally tore my eyes unwillingly from Rachel.

**/#/#/#/#**

The funeral flowed into the evening smoothly—proof of Eva's flawless planning. Twilight was just beginning to appear over the river; the service had lasted exactly the right amount of time, allowing the sun to set behind the trees. The lights in the trees glimmered as Rachel walked with me through the glass back doors, as the white flowers glowed. There were another ten thousand flowers inside, serving as a fragrant, airy tent over the open space.

Things slowed down, relaxing as the mellow August evening surrounded us. A little crowd spread out under the soft shine of the twinkle lights in the garden, and I was greeted again by the friends I'd just embraced. There was time to talk now, to reminisce.

I didn't let Rachel out of my sight, keeping her fingers entwined in mine unless it was absolutely necessary that our contact should be broken. Rachel didn't seem to mind – in fact, she pulled me closer every time I began to slip slightly out of reach.

After the service, there had been a more secluded ceremony just for me, Eva and Marc, Carmen, Eddie and Kellan. Due to my request, the private ceremony had been held in a beautiful clearing, buried deep inside the forest, where I had laid Hudson to rest two years before-hand. His ashes were scattered there, amongst the beautiful bluebells that littered the swaying bottle-green grass. An opening within the clearing revealed a gleaming grey lake which was located amongst the evergreen tree's that descended towards more wild meadows. Horses grazed and the nature thrived there – it was perfect – and I wanted Jake to be there, beside his best friend.

It didn't take long for me to fall into a familiar rhythm with Rachel by my side. She would greet the guests and then I would graciously thank them for coming. Afterwards, we would both make an effort to engage in a small amount of small-talk before making our excuses and moving on to the next guest.

The Smith's copied this pattern themselves, quickly helping to greet and entertain the guests. I didn't want it to _feel_ like a funeral, despite the fact that that was exactly what it was, so their naturally inviting posture and composed smiles helped everyone to relax.

"Hey, Quinn." I spun around to see Santana standing under an ancient tree in the garden, sipping on champagne. Brittney stood beside her, distracted by a birdhouse hidden amongst the ferns. "I'm sorry we couldn't get here any sooner than today."

"Hey, that's okay-"

"We've missed you, Q!" Brittany beamed, forcing her way into my arms before I had a chance to finish my sentence.

"I've missed you too, Britt." I laughed, hugging her tightly. I was desperate for the conversation to deviate from the social norm at events like this. I was tired of talking about death – I was even tired of talking about life. I needed to escape from the funeral, but not before talking to Brittney and Santana. I decided to ask a completely random question in a pathetic attempt at swaying the conversation away from the topic of bereavement.

"How's your cat?" I asked. Santana eyed my suspiciously, but let the topic slide.

"Security wouldn't let him through at the airport..." Brittany pouted, furrowing her brows. "Which is a shame because he brought a lovely suit for today."

Santana stood there, rolling her eyes. "Look Britt, enough with the suit. He can wear it at our wedding instead."

"Okay, but you need to make him cufflinks remember? You promised when security confiscated him that you'd make him something nice…" She turned to Rachel. "She has to make up for the fact that she paid them $50 to take him _away_ from me."

"Alright, alright!" Santana said, throwing her hands up in the air. Clearly, she still felt a little guilty about that. Watching them brought a smile to my lips.

"Can I ask you something Britt?" Rachel said, readily accepting another refill of her glass as Kellan flitted passed.

"Yeah sure, as long as it's not about tampons – I don't understand them at all."

"Right, okay…I wasn't expecting that!" Rachel laughed, hurrying to reassure Brittany. "It's not about tampons, but more about films. I have an old selection of Disney films that I thought you might like. And I promise that they don't involve tampons."

Looking at Santana, I realised that we were both fighting the urge to laugh. I diverted my gaze elsewhere, desperately trying to block out the remark about tampons. It didn't seem appropriate to be amused by such a thing at a time like this, but it felt so good to have some kind of outlet for laughter.

"Yes! I want them all!" Brittany beamed turning to Santana with vivid excitement in her eyes. Her enthusiasm was infectious – I could tell that Rachel was grateful for Brittney's presence. "Do you think security will let me take Bambi through the metal detector?"

"It's not a metal detector, Britt." Santana began to explain with little hope. "Actually, you know what, that's exactly what is it and yes, you will be able to take the films home. They just don't let _real _animals on board."

"Like Lord Tubbington?"

"Yes, like Lord Tubbington and his girlfriend."

"Oh, right."

At that moment, Eddie interrupted, introducing himself with a polite handshake and an obligatory kiss to the cheek. I could have sworn that out of the corner of my eye, I saw Rachel blush.

"Marc wondered if you wanted to thank everyone for coming?"

"Yes, I would at some point. Does he want me to do it now?"

"It's entirely up to you, Quinn. This day is about what you want."

"Okay, I'm coming now." I said, quickly saying my goodbyes to Santana and Brittney. Rachel followed me, staying connected at the hips as we bumped our way through the crowd. Many of the familiar faces I saw belonged to the Smith's extended family, but a few stood out to me. Mainly, the faces of those who were once a part of my past.

Kurt and Blaine offered their condolences as we passed through the sea of relatives and friends. I had a feeling that today had hit them particularly hard, since they had just adopted a wonderful baby girl named Lillie-Rose from Vietnam. The thought of losing a child was more relatable than ever for them now. Today, had hit home a little too deeply.

I took to the raised portion of the living room, seeing the masses of mourning relatives from a new perspective. When I was amongst it, it was easy for me to get loss – to bury myself in conversation with someone like Brittney didn't seem to require much effort, but as I stood above it all, everything began to hit me a little harder.

I clinked my glass gently, quickly distracting and distorting conversations. "Hi everyone-" My voice caught in my throat, causing me to stumble over my words. "I would just like to say thank-you to you all for being here today. It means the world to me knowing that everyone who ever brought a smile to my sons face is here in one room. You all had a part in Jake's life, however big or small it might have been, and I am so grateful that you are all here now." Everyone clapped, believing that I was done. I wasn't. "And I would like to give a very, very special thanks to the entire Smith family who mean absolutely everything to me. They have been fantastic, even though Jake's death broke them and shattered them too, they are still here, and they are as strong as ever. I cannot thank them enough for that. I have been able to live through them for the last two weeks, borrowing pieces of their strength to carry me through night. None of this would have been possible if it had not been for them, so thank you. I love you all. _You_ are my family."

Again everyone erupted into a polite applause, rising their glasses before taking a swig of champagne. It was Marc who took over then, taking to the spot where I had been standing. With his usual composure, he began to thank those who had travelled to be with us, including Rachel, who he delivered a special thank-you too.

This served as a great distraction. I pulled Rachel aside, leading her out of the house to the edge of the garden, where the guests had begun to disappear inside.

"Do you fancy taking a walk?" I asked her, hoping she'd say yes. I wanted the chance to say a special thank-you to her myself, as words could not express how grateful I was for her existence over the last two weeks.

"Yes." She nodded eagerly. "Very much."

I smiled, relieved. "Good. Do you want me to go and grab your coat?"

She shook her head. "No, I think I'll be fine. If we get cold then that will give me an excuse to hug you."

I blushed, directing my gaze towards the floor. "You don't need any excuse to hug me."

Rachel smiled smugly. "I know."


End file.
